Letters From Home
by Military Mechanic
Summary: They are what keep Kain moving in this wretched world. Just small slips of paper with maybe one paragraph, maybe three, that he reads out loud each night. The rest of his bunkmates laugh with him, cry with him, leave him in silence when the subjects are too grave. Those letters? The ones that his old team send him? Without them, Kain knows that he wouldn't survive this draft.


A/N: so, first i need to point out that this is a new style i'm messing with. please let me know what you think of it? if it's a hit, then i'll probably do a few other stories like this.

second, if you guys want, i may write a companion piece to this. let me know in a review?

and, third, this is for yet _another_ challenge. the 100 Country Moment challenge, to be exact. i've written about it in my profile, if you want to check it out. this story is written to the song Letters From Home. enjoy!

* * *

Hey guys,

I guess you already know who this is and why I'm writing. It's pretty rough out here and I don't have much time to actually say anything. We're still setting up our Base Camp and everything - and I can't say that it's an easy thing to do. I'm actualy writing this on my lunch break. Boy oh boy, I'm already missing the 1st Liutenant's food. Never thought I'd say that, would you?

Biscuits and chicken stew will do that to you, I guess.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I made it here in one piece. So don't worry, okay? I'm still alive. I can do this.

Your friend,  
Kain Fuery

-x-x-x-

Kain,

Hello Kain, it's Riza writing to you. We recieved your letter yesterday, so I can only assume that you won't get this letter for at least another five days. Perhaps longer, if they're stopping my letter in order to scan it. They used to do that when I was in the war. It made everything so late.

I hope that you're still doing alright. We all miss you here, Kain, even the Colonel. Even though you haven't said anything about that, I know that you were dissapointed when he didn't show up to your goodbye-party. He's proud of you though. We all are.

I never want you to forget that, no matter how rough it gets out there. We are proud of you and we will miss you, right up until the day that you come back home. Understand?

Also, I would like you to re-think that comment about missing my cooking. If not, I just might not make you any the next time you get here.

From,  
Riza

-x-x-x-

Riza,

The boys here had a fit over your letter. I hope that you don't mind I let them read it? Not many have heard from their own families and friends yet. Mail is really slow. I think most of Amestris considers us already dead. That's what Ryan Reynolds, one of my bunk-mates, says at least. That we've been sent out on a suicide mission. Just to buy the rest of the military time.

Not a lot of people here speak with him.

I didn't mean to offend you, either! I just meant that, well, the food here isn't very good at all. And you always brought us lunch when we were doing work, even if it was just left-overs from your fridge. I've been here three weeks and I already miss it so badly...We get the same things every day here.

Breakfast; oatmeal, sausage, and coffee.

Lunch; biscuits and chicken stew.

Dinner; noodles, stewed carrots, and more biscuits. We usually have orange juice to drink. If you don't like that, it's water.

We haven't done much over here yet. Just a lot of drills. The stuff we went through back in training, before any of us got put into HQ. It's hard work though, because we do it _all_ day. From dawn 'till dusk, in full uniform. It's hot and humid, and that makes it so much worse.

How is everything back home? Central holding up okay?

Your friend,  
Kain

-x-x-x-

Hey Kain,

Havok here. Riza says hello, and so do the rest of the guys. Sounds like you're pretty busy, eh? They always do basic training first. Like...A refresher course, I guess. And in case they drafted any newbies into the bunch, just to make sure that everyone is on the same par. It'll go on for a while, so you might as well get used to it.

The Lieutanent also says she doesn't care if your pals read it. None of us do - we all understand how boring it gets out there. Not much entertainment, huh? Just work and dust and letters. Well, you probably don't have any dust. Everyone says that it's pouring out in Drachma.

Dry as the desert here. Central hasn't had rain since the week before you left. You remember what I'm talking about? That little sprinkle? Yeah. Not a drop since. Damn hot.

Is it hot out there too? Never been to Drachma. Can't find anyone who has, actually. I think they were all called out there with you. I know the weather's pretty eratic out there, though. Not like over here. Must suck.

Everything's the same out here. Boss was in here complaing the other day, something about Mustang giving him a 'shitty useless mission'. They had one of their screaming matches and then Riza busted in their, waving her gun around, and broke it all up. Pretty sure she shot at them, but niether will tell us.

Embarresed about it, I guess.

Army food is shit. No way around it. Just be happy you get noodles for dinner. The moment something happens, they're going to up and dissapear from your plates and you'll be missing them too. You get any sauce with them? Or are they plain?

Still single,  
Havok

-x-x-x-

Everyone,

I'm glad that none of you care. It's pretty much just routine over here to show off your letters now. I guess you're right, Havok. There isn't much more that we can do in the evenings. We're all too worked up to go to sleep and we aren't allowed much more in here.

I wish that I'd brought some of my books. I know that they wouldn't let me have brought my radio, but I really want something to do when I'm waiting for your letters. They're all I've got right now and, I swear, everyone's face lights up when I pass these around.

No, we don't get sauce. The higher ranking soldiers get butter, but my bunker just gets them plain.

There's so much more that I want to tell you all, but I can't right now. Harris is here to collect letters. It's going to be our last batch for a while.

The Drachman soldiers have started to shoot further up the line.

Your friend,  
Kain

-x-x-x-

Kain,

The shootings have started already? I am surprised. We all thought that it would take longer. I know that a few of the other soldiers here were thinking it would blow over without a fight. I am truly sorry that they were wrong - and I should probably let you know that it is Falman writing this, not Havok.

We have just decided to take turns responding to your letters, so that we can all stay in touch with you.

Havok wanted me to let you know that the storm finally broke over here. He also says that he is still waiting to hear your answer about the weather. I do not know why, but he is really harping on that.

Also, let me know if my package came through with this letter. I hope that the novel _'Till Death Do Us Part_ is alright? I was not quite sure what sort of books you enjoyed.

From,  
Falman

-x-x-x-

Guys,

I am so sorry! They just let us stop to write our return letters today. It's been almost three weeks since any of us were allowed to write them and, right now, we're all on a timeclock so I'm going to have to make this really quick.

Havok, it was raining when I got here. It's still raining now. I can't stand it - and I finally agree with the Colonel. If I never see another drop of rain when I leave here, than I'll be more than happy. Everything is constantly soaked, constantly wet, and the air is so heavy...It's hard to breath sometimes, and we've had two soldiers fall ill with pneumonia.

I can't remember the last time that I was dry.

Whoever reads this letter, make sure that you thank Falman for me. It's from everyone over here in my bunk. We love the book - especially Cray, who is a very big reader. He worked in the library at one point, and hadn't thought to pack any reading material either. We take turns reading it out loud at night, when we have the time and the energy.

You should hear us all, trying to make each other laugh. Keep each other going.

Your letters are one of the big reasons I'm still moving, I think. I can't...I hate it here. I miss Central and I miss being on your team.

War is Hell, and I haven't even been on the front-lines yet.

Your friend,  
Kain

-x-x-x-

Buddy,

Hey, it's Breda. Finally gotten a turn to write to you, though Havok isn't happy about it. He wanted another go. Something about weather - and, damn, none of us can still believe that he's on that! But he won't tell us why, says he has to write it down himself or it won't sound right. Get's all uptight and finicky about it whenever we press, so we've pretty much just left it be.

Listen, man. You need to promise me that you're going to take care of yourself out there. I know you did before you left but, well, I need to hear it again. Don't do anything stupid or reckless, because we need you to come back to us in one piece.

So...Be careful and shit, got it?

Oh, and that lady that runs the shelter is the one who sent the basket. Lydia, right? Well, she says that she just baked the cookies day before I wrote this. Made them for you, as a thank you kind of thing.

She was real mad that you didn't tell her you had been drafted. Came by here to find you and see if you were sick or something. Also wanted me to let you know that Crafty was adopted last week. He some animal you picked up somewhere?

I'll see if Falman can dig you up another book, if you want.

Stay safe,  
Breda

-x-x-x-x-

Guys,

I promise you, I'm going to do my best to get home. I don't want to die out here. It would be different if one of you were here with me but...You aren't. And that makes it all different. I wouldn't mind if it was doing something for you all, I don't think. I mean, I didn't feel like this when the Colonel sent me places.

How is he, by the way? I haven't heard anything from him yet. He hasn't been hurt, has he?

Tell Lydia that I said thank you for the cookies. They were amazing. We had them last night, after dinner. There was enough for everyone to have one, so I just passed the basket around.

Best thing we've had since we were drafted.

Crafty was a kitten I found a few months ago. She was blind in one eyes, and I wasn't positive that anyone would want her. I'm glad that she was found a good home, though. Shelters aren't places where anyone should live, human or animal. Even when they're made up nice and the people who run them are caring...It just isn't a home, you know?

She was a sweet one, too. Always purred whenever you so much as looked at her. Will you ask about Maddie for me?

Have to go now,  
Kain

-x-x-x-

It's Havok,

Finally! I've been trying to get them to let me write this damn thing! They all wanted their turn though, and I guess I understand. Still, this is important!

It's about all that rain.

You need to be careful with the storms. I don't know if you've been told yet, but you need to make sure that your socks and boots dry out over night. If you've got the time at night, dry your feet off on your bed-sheets or something. The less you get them wet, the safer you'll be.

See, I had this friend way back. He went through one of the swamps out in Ishbal with his squad. Just a patrol, nothing else. Didn't expect anyone to get hurt - but they ended up losing five men. The air in their boots got so damp and wet, that the mud inside of them literally rotted away the skin there. Big chunks of their feet just fell off, and it didn't ever grow back.

I think they call it Jungle Rot? Something like that. So be careful.

Watch out for your guns, too. Riza says it there's a lot of lightning out there, it could strike one of you. Pretty nasty accdent, from what she says.

Eh, Mustang's fine. He just...He's got a lot of paperwork, you know? Just because he hasn't written doesn't mean that he isn't thinking of you, either. He's really shaken up over you being sent off. Keeps starting fights with the Boss and shit like that, always cooped up in his office claiming he's doing paper-work.

We're all shaken up like that, though. Never thought one of us would get sent into a Hell-hole like Drachma. Especially not you, Fuery. Wish I could switch places with you.

Breda just poked his head over my shoulder with a message. He says he spoke with someone named Lydia? And that someone named Maddie didn't make it. A girlfriend of yours? Have you been holding out on us, kid? What the Hell did she mean by 'didn't make it'?

Stay dry,  
Havok

-x-x-x-

Hey,

Maddie wasn't my girlfriend. She was a cat that I found the day before I got the letter calling me out here. Someone had put her inside of a burlap sack and beaten her with something. Then they just left her in an alley, like she was a piece of trash. I don't know how long she had been there when I found her but...She was in really bad shape.

Lydia didn't have money for her surgery so I paid for it. That's why I didn't have the money to go out and eat with you all, that evening. Not because I spent it on radio parts - though I understand why you all thought that.

I wish that I had found her sooner. She might still be alive then. That's how it always is though, isn't it? You're never fast enough to save them, no matter how quick you run or how hard you try. Everyone lies just out of reach in the end. At least for me, I guess.

Ryan died yesterday.

He wasn't even out fighting. Just...I don't know. He was standing there one moment, and the next he was on the ground and screaming for help. There was so much blood and I couldn't...I couldn't do anything to help him.

Sorry guys, I just don't feel like writing right now.

Your friend,  
Kain

-x-x-x-x-x-

Kain,

Don't you dare apologize, Kain! Losing a soldier shouldn't lay on your shoulders. It is the fault of the man who shot him and of the commanding officer that sent him out into the war. Always remember that. Otherwise, the guilt will swallow you alive when it shouldn't even be there.

It wasn't your fault with the cat, either. It is the man who did that to her who should be blamed, not you. Not when you did all that you could to save her. In fact, you should be proud. You gave all you had to help her and, because of that, she was able to pass on in a place where she was surrounded by love and people who cared for her.

I can't offer you any other words to make you feel better, though I can offer words of distraction. Recently, Havok managed to get a new girlfriend. She was with him for almost a week and a half before they broke up, as she had found out that her previous boyfriend was willing to give her 'another shot'.

He's been moping around the office since then, acting as though life has come to an end. We're all getting tired of it. Breda especially. I think the man is finally coming to the end of his patience - which is far shorter now then when you were here, I would like to inform you.

Everyone says hello, even Alphonse and Edward. They say to be careful out there and, when you get back, they'll treat you dinner.

From,  
Riza

-x-x-x-x-

I've been thinking a lot lately. About the names and positions that we were given, way back when we first met the Colonel? He assigned us each a name. Something that he felt stood for our piece in his plans. We were all named after chess pieces, right? Because he was the King and he was looking for a check-mate.

I haven't thought about it in a while but now I can't get it out of my mind.

Riza, she was his Queen. The second in charge, the one that he couldn't lose. Breda, he was the Rook. Right? Someone that could do it all. Havok was his Knight, the main fighter and the one out on the front-lines all the time. Falman...You were the Bishop, right? The brains of the operation. The one that made all the stratagies and thought everything through, but was still a fighter.

I remember...I was the Pawn. It didn't mean anything to me back then, we he gave us all those names. But now...I guess it's really fitting.

In chess, pawns are nothing more than that. Low-classed pieces that can easily be replaced and serve little to no purpose. Often used as distractions and sacrifices so that the other, more powerful pieces can be moved. They _always_ lost first.

So, it fits, doesn't it? I mean, I never had much to contribute to the team. And tommorow I'll be sent out to the front-lines.

A distraction, just like Ryan used to say. Just so that the officers behind us can have more time to prepare themselves.

I think I'll probably be killed soon.

Your friend,  
Kain

-x-x-x-x-

Kain,

What the Hell, Kain? Why the Hell are you going to the front-lines? Everyone said your squad was just for backup! You were just supposed to be a preventative measure, in case something went wrong and a couple Drachmen got through! No one told us that you would be out there _fighting_ at the front!

And, man, don't you start spewing things like that shit about being a pawn, either. You know that Mustang didn't mean it like that. He's just an ass that ran out of names and was too lazy to think anything else up.

You aren't supposed to die and you aren't going too. Why? Because you aren't replacable and you're stronger than that, damnit! Anyone who is willing to go up against Gluttony is strong enough to fight in a damn war and come back alive!

You understand that? Do I have to write it again? Because I will, and Falman says he will too - he's also pretty pissed off that I took his turn to write but I just don't care. He'll get over it. You better get over that train of thought, too.

I mean it,  
Breda

-x-x-x-

Kain,

It has been almost two weeks since Breda wrote to you. We have not heard anything back yet. Is everything okay? We are all getting very worried about you and, while we understand that you are short on time, would appreciate it if you could send a letter back for us.

Just let us know that you are alright, please.

Thank you,  
Falman

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Kain. If you don't write us back _something_ soon than I will have your hide, you hear me? I don't care if you're out there on the front-lines! I had time to scribble out an 'alright here' when I was fighting, you should too! Get your ass in gear and write something, bastard!

-Havok

-x-x-x-x-

Kain,

You once told us that reading these letters were what kept you going. So, even though we haven't heard back from you yet, I'm going to keep writing them to you. Give you something to fight for, so to speak. Because I know that you're still alive out there. You're strong enough to survive anything those damn soldiers throw at you, I know you are.

Just like you were strong enough and brave enough to help me fight Gluttony that day. I thought I would die, you know. Right there on that roof. Alone. I was out of ammunition and he was closing in on me - and then you were there, gun at the ready, pulling all of his attention onto yourself.

You saved me that day, Kain. Do you realize that? You _saved_ me.

I wish that I could save you.

When that letter came all those weeks ago...We were just completely devastated. If anyone were to be drafted out into this war, it should have been myself or Havok. We've been to the frontlines before, after all. Even Breda would have been more expected.

But they called for you and, just like always, you answered them. So brave. That's what you are. Brave.

Don't ever forget that.

Yesterday, we had another shower. Just a short one - but it sent both the Colonel and Edward into fits. They hate the rain. It's one of the few things that they have in common, so far as I can tell. Of course, I'm sure that you despise the rain now too. After all, a friend of mine recently let me know that it's _still_ raining out there.

Is it ever dry in Drachma?

When was the last time you saw the sun?

Four months, am I correct? That's roughly how long you've been there. Almost five months.

We miss you Kain. Please, write back and let us know what's going on. Let us know that you're still safe.

Always waiting,  
Riza

-x-x-x-x-

Miss Riza,

My name is Lita Barns and I'm one of the soldiers in Kain's squad. We recieved your letter two days ago but this is the first chance I've had to respond - and I'm very sorry that I'm the one to be writing this to you.

Please don't drop this! As far as I know, you're friend isn't dead. He's just...missing. He's been missing for almost five weeks now, along with another soldier by the name of Joseph Keys. We believe that they were taken captive by Drachman soldiers.

Not much is known yet.

Again, I'm horribly sorry.  
Lita Barns

-x-x-x-x-

Lita,

Please, let us know what has happened. Whatever details you have, we need to hear them.

Thank you,  
Falman

-x-x-x-x-

Friends of Kain,

Six weeks ago, we were sent out on a mission. Go into the main battle, cause a ruckus, and allow the other troups there to retreat. We were to take their place in the fight for at least one month. Then we could come back, to our original base-camp, and rest for a while. That's where I'm writing to you from now, by the way.

During those first few days out there, out entire group was a mess. It was Hell, pure and simple. We lost so many good men...To disease, Drachma, and our own soldiers. The rain was coming down so heavily that we couldn't see anything. Sometimes we fired and hit an enemy. Sometimes we hit our own men.

Hell is the only word that I can describe it with. Hell and death.

A lot of us, we almost didn't make it back. Just because it was too much stress. Saying this to someone like yourselves, of which I can only assume were soldiers in the Ishbal-Amestris war, makes my troop and I sound cowardly but...We all had to be talked down from the edge more than once, myself included. Most of the time, it was your friend Kain who did the talking.

I think I speak for everyone here when I say that he gave us hope. Something to keep going on for and a reason not to meet Death just yet.

He was, no, he is a hero. You should all be proud of him.

Six weeks ago, on that mission, I ignored direct orders from my commanding officer and ordered a retreat. We were outnumbered, outpowered, and at our limit. The rest of the troops had already gotten out and it was just us.

I don't think I really need to tell you that my men listened to me. We did a turn-about, headed for safety. It's nothing but a big blur in my mind now, but I remember flashes.

We went to retreat. Two soldiers fell behind, one wounded, the other not. They were siblings, I believe. Kara and Danny.

In an attempt to get the others to safety, I ordered them to be left. Kain disobeyed - but then, I did too and so I can't really say anything about that. In war, is there really a single order that you should be following? Or should you try and listen to your guts?

Whatever the answer, he listened to his heart. Went back for them and got Danny, who had been shot in the shoulder and the leg, onto his feet. Handed over his gun to use as a crutch of sorts and then the three of them started towards the rest of us.

I remember an explosion and someone pushing Danny at us.

We ran.

I thought Kain and Kara were following but...When we got back to the base...They were gone.

We haven't found their bodies or any sign that they have been killed. It's thought that they've been taken captive.

So try and hold on hope, please. Your friend is a strong-willed person. I'm sure that he'll be fine.

I am so sorry,  
Lita

-x-x-x-x-

Lita,

If there's any updates, can you let us know? We can't get any information from anyone over here. And if you see Kain, tell him that I'm going to kick his ass, alright? Fucking broke his promise.

From,  
Breda

-x-x-x-

Friends of Kain,

Yesterday, I was informed that Drachman soldiers _are_ taking prisoners. They want any and all information on Amestriss that they can find. Eight bodies have been found, but none are Kain's.

Tell me, can he withstand interrogation? If he can, then you should all see him once more. Please tell me that the answer is _yes_ - I still have to thank him.

Worried,  
Lita

-x-x-x-x-

Lita,

Interrogation...Such a sugar-coated way to put it. The bodies, they showed clear signs of torture then? Bastards. We don't know if Kain can take much of it. Havok doesn't think so, and niether does my Colonel, but I know that our boy is strong.

Whether or not he's strong enough to live through that though...I'm just not sure.

Sincerely,  
Riza

-x-x-x-

Riza,

Kara's body was found three days ago. Her throat was slit. There is still no sign of Kain.

From,  
Lita

-x-x-x-

Lita,

Have hope, girl. I just got off the phone with a buddy of mine over in Intelligence. There's talk of a temporary cease-fire on both sides. If it happens, our men'll be able to come home. You'll be out of that place for good, I bet.

Still listening,  
Havok

-x-x-x-

Havok,

Have you heard what will happen to the captives?

From,  
Lita

-x-x-x-

Lita,

I'm sure that you've heard the news by now, but I need to write it out anyway. The Fuhrer has made a deal with the Drachman government. All prisoners, on both sides, will be returned to their base-camps. The dead and the live.

Watch out for Kain, please? I know that...It's been a very, very long time. Most men of his rank can't live through so many months of captivity. But I need to know the truth. We all do.

From,  
Riza

-x-x-x-

Hey guys,

It's me. Kain. I haven't had a chance to read your letters yet, so I hope everything's okay over there? My commanding officer out here, Lita, says that she's been keeping you up to date on everything. I guess I should thank her for that later - but they aren't letting me have any visitors right now. Nurses and doctors only. And Leebeth, but she's only allowed in here so that she can write letters for us.

I can't hold the pen right now, so she's doing it for me. Well, I can't hold much of anything really. It hurts too badly to move my hands. Hurts too bad to move anything, actually. I feel awful.

They tell me that I was over in Drachman territory for almost three months. Is that true? It seemed, I don't know. Not like three months. I can't decide whether it was longer or shorter than that, though.

Is the Colonel around? If he is, can you ask him to do me a favor? A man named Danny Raspute was medically discharged a few weeks ago. He was the brother of one of the soldiers I shared a cell with. Her name was Kara and she was three years younger then I was. Her brother had been drafted so she volunteered.

She's dead now. I killed her. They only had a chance to take her once and then...She was _begging_ me to do it and I couldn't say _no_, not to her. Not when I _knew_ what would happen to her.

So I killed her and I promised that I would send this neckleace, the one attached to this letter, back home to her brother. Can you make sure he gets it? And can you make sure he knows how sorry I am? I didn't want to kill her but...It meant that she didn't suffer for long.

God, look at me rambling. Sorry. I guess...I guess I should just end this now? Yeah. I'll end it and get some sleep.

Let me know if you can find him.

Your friend,  
Kain

-x-x-x-

Kain,

You little ass, we thought you were dead! Don't you ever do something stupid like that again, you hear me? Never! I swear to God I will-sorry Kain, I took the pen away from Breda. He's having a major fit over here, buddy. I mean, we all are but, damn, I don't think I've ever seen him this upset over anything.

We were all worried, Kain, and you don't have a clue how glad we are to be writing to you again. You'll be home in what, two weeks? Soon as you're healthy enough for transport? And, before she blows a fuse, Riza wants me to ask you to have one of the doctors send us a transcript of you injuries. We want the truth, too. Tell us how bad off you are.

Mustang found that guy you were talking about. He's not mad, either. Wanted us to thank you for him. Says Kara would have rather died then lived through shit like that. You did good, Kain. You did real good.

Better than I would've, I can tell you that.

Falman says that Lydia's been taking care of your apartment and Alphonse wants to know if you like chocolate or vanilla? Think the kid's going to bake you a cake or something.

I know you're probably tired as shit so I won't make this long - no matter how much we want to tell you.

Get well soon,  
Havok _and everyone else_

-x-x-x-

Dear Colonel,

Upon request of one Sergent Major Kain Fuery, I am sending you a briefened list of injuries recieved during captivity.

_-severe burns covering the left shoulder and forearm._

_-third degree burns covering his left hand. _

_-forced removal of fingernails and toenails._

_-severe lacerations on the torso, upper back, and all four limbs._

_-severe infections in most injuries._

_-dehydration and starvation._

_-scar tissue forming around the left eye-socket._

_-seven broken ribs._

_-three cracked ribs._

_-a shattered knee-cap._

_-numerous smaller injuries._

Pardon my briefness, sir, but I am writing several of these letters today. I have listed the major wounds, in as common wording as I can bring myself to use. I do not expect him to be sent back to Amestriss for several days yet.

From,

Doctor Tallah

-x-x-x-

Fuery,

I know that I haven't written to you yet, and I have to apologize. I was afraid that you were going to die out there, Fuery, and in one of my most assinine moves I tried to ignore that fact by ignoring you.

It didn't work. I have worried about you everyday that you were over there and read every letter that you have sent.

Don't you ever think of yourself as a Pawn in my games, understand me? You are far more than that. More than words can say.

They tell me that you'll be home soon. So I'll say this now - because I don't think I have ever told you before.

Kain, you make me proud. Know that and know that you are needed back home, soldier.

I will see you soon,  
Roy Mustang


End file.
